Life as an Author 365 Reasons Why I can't Wait to Turn 40!

I completed my first triathlon yesterday with the prodding and support of my dearest friend, Aimee!  She is the most supportive person I know!  Even after an injury, she came with a headstrong, Big Heart attitude and we swam in the coldest lake I’ve ever swam in, side-by-side…well, only the first few strokes…she was soon out in front of me!

After the first transition, we parted ways and met at the finish!  I am so grateful for her cheering me on!  I could have never done it without her!

Run Strong for Gabe 5K is less than 24 hours away!

I was blessed to see a very sick boy today.  He was not aware that I was there. But every cell in my body screamed -“strength” to him as I watched him sleep.  His name means “strength” and so that is what I am asking God to help my friends and I be for him and his family.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us!” - Hebrews 12:1

This is not really a How To…but more of a How Not To do what I have been doing for the past 6 months! ~Enjoy!

As a newly regenerated athlete, I have had about 1 year of “training” under my belt. In the spring of 2012, we began our first Couch to 5K training program at the Milt with about 35 students, and an overall race attendance of 200.

I ran a 5K in June while training for my first virtual half marathon in July - for the Whole in the Wall Gang…(probably the hottest day in Chicago EVER!)  So glad my hubby ran it with me!

We launched a fall C25K for students and ramped up attendance to 65 students and 300 racers on Race Day.

Then my BFF and I began training for a triathlon…

I ran another half marathon in January on the treadmill (for Sandy Hook Elementary kids).  I loved praying for each of the kids, their teachers and families while I ran (had the race bib with names taped to my treadmill).  

My swims, runs and bikes got me through this epic winter!

And did I mention another C25K program is currently in session with race day topping 400 on May 1st and the Mt. Gretna tri scheduled for the 18th! 

Whew!  I’ve certainly been busy, tired and…well…moody!

To avoid being overly simplistic, allow me to note that there are other factors in my life that are contributing to my current emotional state (Including at one point the contemplation of a career change)…that’s HUGE!

But training is also adding to the stress.  As race day approaches, I am becoming more and more anxious about my performance, physical preparedness and overall ability to finish the triathlon.

Then yesterday something happened to put everything into perspective.  I was completing my first brick workout when I got a cramp in my gut and a pain in my right ankle.  I am not a stranger to running cramps and I have had this ankle pain for awhile because I think the newest shoes I bought aren’t working out for me too well.  

But I began to think how the past few months have glorified God.  (I do think it was the Lord who was asking me this question.)  Well, I came up speechless.  Other than the Sandy Hook half, where I spent the entire run in prayer…I have been pretty self-absorbed with getting workouts in, keeping my weight down, giving in to overeating, then beating myself up for doing it.

By and large, an athlete is a pretty self-consumed individual.

But, that is not me…well, at least it’s not SUPPOSED to be me…and yet it has been me for about 6 months.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ~1 Corinthians 10:31

Maybe turning 40 is something that I have made into a little god.  Afterall, I have dedicated an entire blog to this journey of turning 40!  

So that I do not give in to self-condemnation, I’d like to think that perhaps, while writing this blog and training, I have lost focus in my journey to 40.  I used to write about those little nudges, gifts and losses that life gave me along the way…and now I am just too tired to do it.

But I have 1 more week until I am 40 and along with the rest of my life, to try to do the best I can for HIS glory…not mine.

Lesson learned!

Journalling for a year about turning 40 certainly has its ups and downs.  

On the upside, this journey has given me a lot to reflect on.  I have not recently read through all of the posts, but if my memory serves me correctly, I believe some common themes that have emerged are: Love of God, Love for His People, Blessings from Children, Realizing the Small Things, Dedication & Discipline, and Joys & Sorrows…

I am pretty blessed to have had a year filled with experiences described from this list.

But, despite all of the things listed above, I know that every once in awhile, the Lord does something profound in order to get my attention.  And when He does, it serves as a reminder of my frailty, dependency, and constant need for Him as I try to walk this path of life.

Only One Thing Matters - Christ

This has been the downside of journalling this year, which is that I have been reluctant to write about a lot of my experiences and indeed, I have not written about most of them.  But it is not for lack of material to write about.  Quite frankly, sometimes I could not find the words to express the intense joy or sadness that I was feeling at the moment, so I just allowed myself to feel.

Which, if you know me, is not always an easy thing to do.  I have this insatiable desire to try and figure out what my feelings mean instead.

But I have come to realize that sometimes problems have no solution, diseases have no cure, and life is just 10 times harder than I ever dreamed it would be.  I may never find the ideal job, live in the most ideal place and make enough money to satisfy my greedy soul.

My children may die before I do , my parents will die one day, and I will die in order to one day meet Him face to face.  And I cannot wait (sounds kinda morbid, but not meant to be).

I want the second half of my life to be all about Him.  Because it is still Christ alone that I seek.

~Deanna

The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer—through prayer, penance, repentance, almsgiving, and self-denial.

This year, during the Lenten season, I am struggling with what to give up as my self-denial.  I already think that I overindulge quite a bit through electronics and over eating- over sleeping- really over- anything.  

But tonight, as the Lenten Season began, I was surprised when I was ushered into a prayer service that allowed me to focus on what I have, rather than what I should give up.  

God’s spirit was present and He reminded me how much I miss Him in my daily walk.

I am not sure what this year’s Lent will bring.  So it may be a mix of giving up AND receiving, but whatever it is, I will be intentional for the next 40 days to look for Him at every turn.

~Deanna

If you’ve ever been a parent, then you are all too familiar with second-guessing the kind of job you are doing with raising your children. I have, perhaps, a particularly sensitive nature to this because I grew up mostly without my parents…with my mother passing away when I was only 7 and my father being in prison during my formative to teen years.

I think that God knows whenever I need some encouragement because He brings along a person or a situation that helps me to see that I am possibly going in the right direction when it comes to raising my kids.

A few examples:

• My 7 year-old son overheard someone complaining about the food that was given, and my son turned to me and said “he should be thankful for what he has.”
• During church my 11 year-old daughter was asked to read a passage in Church, she said to the Youth Pastor as she began looking up the verse, “Hey! I know that one!”  She closed her Bible and proceeded to quote, from memory the verse.
• My daughter heard that someone had seen the movie, “Mama” and she said, “Why would you go see that? That’a an awful movie, at least it looked like it from the previews”

I know these examples may not seem like a big deal to some parents, but to me, it is refreshing to see my kids stand up for what is right, demonstrate their love for God and be reminded of what it means to be thankful.  

I’ve decided that it is the parent of a child that will help to guide his/her conscience.  If a child sees and hears a parent doing the right thing most of the time, those words and actions will help to frame his/her conscience towards those things.  And vice versa.

I’m encouraged by the following words that the Lord speaks to us about good parenting.  

Deut 11:18-19 

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

I love that there are promises in God’s word for doing good!

~Deanna